Bioinfo
JedWhat sort of things does Jed do on Saturday afternoons?
One can only wonder.
There are the usual rumors that he occupies himself for hours
downloading questionable materials from obscure websites—
but what kind of materials he’s accessing remains in question.
We are not suggesting that Jed's downloading questionable materials.
No, if anything we are positive that if Jed's downloading anything,
it most certainly would be highly questionable.
In other words, there is no doubt the material Jed downloads is questionable—
the question is whether Jed downloads questionable materials on Saturday afternoons.
As far as the rest of the week goes,
we know exactly what Jed is doing,
where he is doing it, and for what reason.
And we will continue to monitor him very, very closely.
Ernie (Oin)
Every day, Ernie invents and re-invents the definition
of what makes a “violent man” by beating on innocent hollow objects that don’t have nerve endings.
“It’s what [drums] are made for, so it’s okay,”
he once assured a group of schoolchildren
who were more than a little alarmed
at the intensity in which he pounded his floor tom.
But that’s just the kind of guy Ernie is.
Not only is he a solid upstanding citizen of the St. Croix Valley,
he is also President and founding member of the small but mighty
pacifist organization Beatmasters, which is committed to reforming
the lives of schoolyard bullies.
It was Ernie who coined its official motto—Real men beat drums.
When he isn’t actively contributing to the safety, health, and welfare
of his community, Ernie likes to strip naked and drink beer
in the companionship of his small furry friends,
many of which are invisible to the rest of us
and tell him to do things.
Neil
Hey everybody, what’s that orange thing following Neil around?
Lately he’s been tooling about more erratically than usual.
He appears to be fueled by some great excitement.
It appears as though there’s a rope stuck up his bootie.
What's that for do you think?
The rope appears to be ignited.
Surely Neil must be conducting some kind of experiment
for the benefit of humankind.
Brian
Brian/CookieBrian is a cookie jar, oh yes!
He is in fact a storehouse of cookies.
Sugar cookies, chocolate chip cookies, alien monster cookies, you name it--
They're in Brian.
Strangely, he will sometimes say
"My cookies are gone -- I have none left"
But you can't always believe him
because he doesn't update his records.
And so he's usually bursting with cookies
and doesn't even know it.
Look in Brian: find undocumented cookies